The job


HISS!!!  Who’s there?

Luna in keyboard box barely visible from darkness

I hear you.  If you want to keep your nose, you’re going to show yourself.

Mrrrr!  There you are.  Let me get a good look at you.

Luna in keyboard box with face looking forward from darkness

Look, it’s the newbie.  You screwed up the last heist, so you’re going to have to make up for it, capiche?

Hey, you didn’t pick up a tail, did you?

Luna in keyboard box with head resting right looking right

Wait… meow?  You did NOT just make that joke.

Luna in keyboard box with head resting right

Yes, all cats have tails.  Meow meow.  Very funny.

Okay, look, you’re not going to cut into my nap time, newbie.

Luna in keyboard box looking forward

I’m gonna tell you what’s going down, and what you’re gonna do.

Luna half in darkness facing camera

So lean in, and listen real good, because I’m only going to say this once.

Luna half in darkness with squinting eye

There’s a treat that I want.  A catnip flavored treat.

Luna in keyboard box looking to right

Let’s just say a little bug told me.  One that I decided not to squish.

Usually treats are in a bag, in a closed cabinet, but they left one out, and I’m gonna eat it.

Luna in keyboard box looking up and to the left

Purr!  When I get my paws on that treat…

Luna grabbing thing attached to string

I’m gonna grab it like this, see?

Luna holding thing attached to string close

Then I’m gonna get it real close to my chompers and…

Luna holding thing attached to string

I’m gonna CHOMP the thing!  Like this!

Luna about to chomp thing attached to string

CHOMP!  Then I’m gonna make the treat suffer!

Luna chomping and trying to crack thing attached to string

Rrrrrr! And then, if the treat don’t have the good sense to get eaten…

Luna chomping thing attached to string with tongue out

I’m gonna snap the treat’s tiny little neck!  ROOWWWRRR!!!!

Luna really chomping thing attached to string

The treat will be mine!  All mine!

Luna in keyboard box stretching and yawning toward camera

I can have any treat I want!  They can’t stop me from having treats!  ROAR!!!

Luna in keyboard box stretching and yawning

So I hope, by now, it sunk into that human brain of yours, that I will have this treat.

Luna grasping thing attached to string for chomping

Meet me at the other end of this table in three hours.  You’re not much of a cat burglar, so you’re going to be the lookout.  I’ll swipe the goods.

Luna in keyboard box looking forward and head resting to right

Hmm, wait, I think I heard a noise.

Luna in keyboard box looking up and to the left

No, it’s coming from that door you walked in from.

Luna in keyboard box looking up and to the right

Oh no!  It’s a tail!  Those humans are back!

Luna in keyboard box looking wide-eyed to right close up

You gotta leave now!  Don’t make me say it twice!  Scram!

Luna in keyboard box looking wide-eyed close up

No, no!  The back way!  Make sure you’re not followed next time!

Luna in keyboard box looking wide-eyed

They turned the lights on!  I’m going to lay low and pretend to sleep until the coast is clear.

Luna in keyboard box with one wider eye and paw showing

Now get going, and I’ll see you later!

Luna in keyboard box with one tired eye and paw showing

*fake snore*

(Later that night)

Zzzzzzzz… rrrrr!

Hey, is that my lookout?

Luna looking over edge of table with paw and bright light HDR

I see you had the sense to show up.  Good.  We don’t got no catnap time.

Luna looking down from table with paw out

At least for now.  See that kitchen over there?

Luna looking over edge of table with front leg

Okay, I’m gonna check out that table.  You keep a watch at the two exits, and use those omni-directional ears of yours too.

Luna squinting over edge of table with paw and bright light

The coast seems clear.  Hopefully the treat will be where it’s supposed to be.  Otherwise, I’ll find that bug and squish it.

Luna squinting over edge of table to side with paw and bright light

Okay, let’s get moving.

Luna squinting over edge of table to side and bright light

Am I speaking in cat to you?  MEOW!  Let’s GO!!

Luna yawning over edge of table

Yes, this is the right table.

Luna investigates stool

Now watch a master in action.  *pounce*

Luna leaps on stool

*ninja silence*

And let’s see what we have here…

Luna reaches table

Hiss!!!  Where is my treat?

Luna investigates table

Purrr… so I’m gonna get to squish the bug after all.

Luna on stool looking to the right

But wait.  I think I see the treat!  It’s on the scratching post!

Luna on stool

They left the light on, so we have to move fast.

I MUST have that TREAT!

Luna to right with camera close on her right eye

Okay, this is the scratching post.  So high!  Keep a look out while I investigate!

Luna near scratching post looking to camera

*jump*

There it is!

Luna grappling scratching post

Must reach top!  RRRRRR!

Luna clinging to scratching post with paws under ridge

I can reach the treat!  Chompchompchompchomp.

Luna pulling herself onto scratching post

Chompchompchompchomp.

Finally, the treat is in my belly.

Luna takes final stop onto scratching post

Just a moment to digest.

Luna on scratching post looking to left

And… done.

MEOW!!!  The treat was SO GOOD!!!

Luna looks at camera closely from scratching post

PURRRR!!!!  Okay, let’s get back to the table.

Phew.

Luna on table in somewhat darkness sleepy facing right

Purrpurrpurrr…. What a night, but it was so worth it.  I’m pooped.  Carry me back to my keyboard box please.

Luna in keyboard box with head to side and eye behind tail

Purrrrpurr!  So cozy.  You did good today.  I’ll cut you in for some of the treat next time.

Now I need to sleep.  Because that’s what cats do when they’re not eating treats.

Luna in keyboard box with head to side behind tail

Purrrpurrpurrr…. ZZZZZZzzzzzzz…..

Luna in keyboard box with nose behind foot

And now for Luna’s end of post commentary:

luna_with_glasses

Hope you enjoyed working for me!  Today’s shout-outs go to:

h4rrish4wk, for being the first commenter on my website and ultra-supportive on my new posts so far.  Love you!

Anya Deason, for acknowledging the work that goes into posing for all these crazy pictures, and yeah, Scott’s photography too.

Dan Holliday and all others who cheat on their pets by reading my website.  Just be up-front with your pets and it’ll be fine!

Ellen Vrana, of awesome blog, The Runcible Goose, for continuing to support me, also promoting my latest story on Facebook.

David Kahana, for joining me in talking smack about the Maniacal Carrot.

Meow!

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Categories: FictionTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

10 comments

  1. Luna, you’re a beauty. The website looks really cool. Suits your style 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks. She is proud of her sense of style, and probably would have preferred the catwalk during Fashion Week. However, we’ve moved from NYC to Binghamton, so this website will have to do.

      Like

  2. Cute. Cute Luna.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Luna, those noir-style shadows are getting longer and longer. Thanks for remembering the little people!!!!!!!

    Like

  4. Totally cracked me up. Can’t wait for the next adventure 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks, Luna, you’re teaching me and my sis some new bad tricks. I’ll bet mom won’t know what hit her!

    Liked by 1 person

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