Pirate Chomper


Purr!  Let’s see what’s goin’ on in ma ‘hood!

Luna on chair near window with paws hanging over edge with eyes squinting

All’s quiet.  All’s as it should be.  But, wait, what’s that?

I see something in the shrubbery.

Luna on chair near window with paws hanging over edge

Marshmallow!

That’s GOT to be her.

Marshmallow in shrubbery looking at camera

Marshmallow!

You scoundrel!  Don’t think I don’t see you!

Luna looking evil as she peers over the edge of a chair

SCOUNDREL!  Come out here!

Yeah, what do you want now?

Marshmallow in shrubbery looking at camera with sun in eyes

I ain’t pickin’ on you today.  I stared you down.  You were a chump.  It’s over.

Marshmallow!  It is FAR from over.

Luna on chair near window looking over edge toward window

I will exact my revenge upon you.  Just hang on there a minute while I come up with a plan.

I’m here all afternoon.  Wake me up when you get back, okay?

Something tells me Marshmallow does not perceive me as a threat.  I guess the dark ritual I cast upon her didn’t quite do the job.

Luna on chair close up looking sternly to left

But you will learn, my nemesis.  Your time … is now.  Meow.

I have never forgiven her for that day she traumatized me, acting all creepy around me during my walk outside.

But how do I do it?  It’s coming to me.  It’s coming to me.

Luna lying on carpet stretched away from window

Wait, no, that’s just a hairball.

I got it!

Luna on carpet facing away from window with head up

I must become…

Pirate Chomper!

Luna covering eye like pirate

I will peel her fur like a mango!  YARRR!!!  With the very blood I spill from her veins, I shall spice the rum in my cat dish.

She thinks she can sit around outside MY TURF!  I’ll show her!

Luna stretching and yawning over toy track

I’ll dig my claws into her neck and eat her face!

No, Pirate Chomper chooses if and when to chomp.

Luna in box facing forward looking to left

Otherwise, the fluffy terrorist has won.  Gotta put these angry whiskers on ice!

Seriously, I need to take a chill treat.

Luna in box facing forward looking at camera

Hey, ever try catnip hookah?  Follow me!

Purr!

Luna lounging behind hookah

Welcome to my cozy hookah den!

This here is my closest, dearest friend.  My hookah.

Luna next to hookah looking upward

We’ve spent a lot of time together.

What, you’re nervous about trying it?

Luna looking forward with wide eyes next to hookah

It’s perfectly safe.  I need to get my temper in check.  Don’t let me down.

That’s right.  Breathe the catnip goodness deep into the lungs.

Luna looking forward at camera next to hookah

What’re you coughing for?  You’re such an amateur.

Here, let me have a puff.

MeOW!!!

Luna with eyes partly open next to hookah

I didn’t know peanut butter was that good at pinochle.

What were we talking about?

Luna looking off to left next to hookah

I totally forget.  Here, let me have another drag.

Purrrrrr.  My furry noggin is toasted.

Luna with one eye closed next to hookah

Why didn’t you remind me to stop?  You know I have an addictive personality.

Meow.  I am so hammered.

I can’t remember anything.

Luna with upsidedown head and a paw close up

Wait, it’ll come to me.  It’ll come to me….

It’s not coming to me.

Have you ever wondered if we were meant for something more?

Luna peering out from behind her two in-line paws

Is this really our lot in life?  Lighting up all the time?

Hey Marshmallow?

Side view of Luna looking out window

Marshmallow!

Yeah?

Marshmallow lounging on sidewalk looking at camera

Whaddaya want this time?

I d’no.

Upward view of Luna on cat tree looking forward with big eyes and paw hanging

What DO I want?

*stretch*  I just felt like chatting.

Luna looking down from cat tree with paw hanging and one eye squished

You don’t wanna chat?

Wait, I have a question…

Yeah?

Upward view of Luna on cat tree looking to left with big eyes and paw hanging

What were we talking about?

I’m so jealous.  Luna’s high again.

Marshmallow lounging on sidewalk looking to right

Yep, I smell it.  Smells like she’s smokin’ the good stuff, too.  I should start being nicer to her.

I think I see a bug on the ceiling.  Is that a bug?

Luna slumped on sofa on back with one ear up

If the spot crawls away, it’s a bug.  I’m in no hurry.  Let’s see if it’s a bug.

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Categories: FictionTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

9 comments

  1. Awww….. this is so darling. Marshmallow looks so …. squeezable.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m slightly disapointed… I was hoping to see Luna in a pirate hat and eye patch!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. gosh Luna is SOOOO cute! At first I thought this was a blog about kids 😛 Much prefer reading about Luna! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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