Luna for President

Meow!!!  What are you doing here!?

Luna with amazed expression looking upward

You have to run!  You have to run as fast as your hairless paws can carry you!

Donald Trump is angry!

Luna jumping through air toward right

The zombie apocalypse is upon us!

We must escape!

Luna jumping through air with only hind legs showing



They got me.  Soon I will transform into a zombie-kitten.

Luna sleeping between two blurry feet

How could I have been so naive?

(Three weeks earlier…)

Luna laying back with blurry paws

*snore!* ZZZZzzzzz…


Luna asleep in front of blurred Aliona

Oh, I’m being cuddled again.

What are we watching now anyway?  Donald Trump is on TV again?

Luna with emo black eye while lying in Aliona's arms

I shouldn’t judge.  If I had his coat of fur, maybe I wouldn’t be a nice person either.

Stretch please?


Luna with paws being stretched laying back

Yeah, get those fingers in the pits.

Such a good stretch.

Luna on side looking at camera with foot in front

If I ran the country, it’d be a requirement.  All cats would have humans to stretch them.

Each and every morning.

Wait a minute.

Luna on side looking down at foot

This foot isn’t stretched yet.

Give me room to work.  Purrpurrpurrpurrrrrr…

Luna asleep on blanket stretching foot in full focus

Such a good stretch!  It will be so easy to go back to sleep.

Daddy thinks it’s playtime.

Luna observing a bouncing ball

The bouncy ball kinda looks like Mars, doesn’t it?

But I’m more concerned with our own planet.

Luna staring out window with just eye in focus close-up

Look at the stray cats out there, pooping on my street.

Millions of innocent feline citizens have no one to cuddle each morning.  No TV to watch.

Not even to help them stretch.

Wait… I smell something.  A treat!

Luna reaching up over window to get treat

If I could give each of them just one treat.

What a bright spot that would be in their alley of sadness.

Maybe I should run for President.

Luna at window looking to side with big eye

I was born in this country.  There’s no minimum age for cats, right?

(A week passes…)

I can’t believe this is happening.

Luna close up with one eye in focus

I am actually being taken seriously.

I am actually considered the most attractive option to run against leading Republican candidates like Donald Trump.

Sorry Hillary, nothing personal.

Luna close up looking directly at camera with very wide eyes

I think humans think I come off as genuine.  I really care about what happens to my fellow mammals.

It’s almost time for the press conference.

Luna close up with wide eyes looking a bit to the left

I haven’t done a press conference before.  I wonder how they work.

I must be strong.  I must stand up, and speak from my furry heart.

For everyone that is counting on me.

Luna close up staring straight at camera with green and white background

For everyone that believes in me.  I can do this.

What is this thing?

Luna beneath microphone on stool sniffing mic

Are there treats inside?

Oh, right, the press conference.

Luna, don’t you think a human should be elected President?

Luna beneath microphone on stool

Heh.  We need this question.  This is the first question.

Excuse me, Sir, but this is a country of many voices…

Luna beneath microphone on stool looking to right

… and among those voices, my meow will be heard.

My nine lives matter!

Look.  I know what it’s like to be stepped on.

Luna beneath microphone on stool looking sad to right

We need to put our paws together, and not let our neighbor’s litterbox overflow with poop.

I caterwaul for not those of my kind,

Luna beneath microphone on stool with narrow eyes

but for every kind — every color, every origin, every religion, every sexuality, and every texture of fur.

If you agree with me, then you should vote…

Luna beneath microphone on stool close up

… for Luna.

(One week later…)

The campaign was going so well.

Luna looking despondent behind chair

I can’t believe it ended up this way.

Hiss!  How’d you find me?

Luna looking out from behind chair completely in view

Are you a zombie?

You’re not?

Luna on chair peeking out from under table

Swear on a tuna treat?

What was I hiding from?

Luna in chair looking staright at camera solemnly

Have you been living in a box for the last week?

I had a huge grass roots movement.

Luna on chair staring straight at camera with wide eyes

I spread over the Internet like wildfire, leading in the polls.

Then Donald Trump finally reacted.  I remember the Tweet like it was yesterday.

fake trump tweet

That very night, an Donald Trump’s horde of ruthless zombies rose from the underworld, hungry for my pointy-eared noggin.

Luna on chair staring forward with wide eyes

I can’t keep running anymore.  Maybe I should try to escape to Mexico before he builds that wall he’s been talking about.

Shhh.  I hear something.  I know you don’t, but you’re not a cat, are you?

Luna on chair looking thoughtfully to the left

Groaning.  Yes, it’s definitely groaning something about brains.  I’m afraid it’s a zombie.


Luna on chair looking wide-eyed with tongue out to right

Run!  Run for your life!  Follow me!

Psst.  In here.

Luna in blanket tent looking right and up

They haven’t found this hiding spot yet.

You aren’t scared?

Luna in blanket tent looking at camera with head tilted

You think this is all part of the democratic process?  Really?

Well then you won’t mind going out there, asking those zombies to play nicely, will you?

Luna in blanket tent staring forward

It’d be awfully swell of you.  I’ll wait right here.

Look, if you don’t want some nasty toothmarks on your nose, you’ll get out there and get rid of those zombies for me.

Luna in blanket tent looking stern close up

Yes, I know I’m stooping down to Trump’s level, but it’s a means to an end.

I must live another day, if a feline is ever going to reside in the White House.

Luna in blanket tent looking left close up

No, Socks and India don’t count.  You know what I mean.

Now get going.

Luna peeking out from under blanket with big eyes

Protect me from the zombies and I’ll get you a job in the Secret Service.

Yes, you’ll get a pair of cool sunglasses.

Luna peeking out from under blanket looking at camera

Yes, and a nice suit.  Cat hair free.

Meow.  I hear a zombie coming now.

Luna peeking out from under blanket looking up and to right

Don’t let the zombies see the tasty lump in the blanket.

(a fight with zombies ensues)

They’re really all gone?

Luna with chin down on sofa looking at camera

How’d you get rid of them?

What do you mean, you talked reason to them?

Luna with chin down on sofa looking wide-eyed to left

These are mindless zombies we’re talking about.  They can’t be reasoned with.

They just creep about in a big mob and repeat “Brainzzz” or whatever else Donald Trump is talking about.

Luna with chin down on sofa looking worried to left with wide eyes

You just can’t trust them!  They’re all manifestations of evil!

Don’t worry about it?  How can I not worry about it!?

Luna with chin down on sofa looking worried at camera with wide-eyes

Wait, why are you bleeding?  Did you get bitten?

You’re one of them now.

Luna with chin down on sofa looking worried at camera with wide eyes, one a bit narrower

Can I have a head start?  I’m going to run away now.

Categories: FictionTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,


  1. Ha ha ha ….!! The most adorable Presidential candidate I’ve seen.

    Liked by 1 person

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