I don’t know if you know me, but I am a silly goose too.
I am a hedonistic little furball that has no sense of normalcy.
But I can’t be as hedonistic and silly as I want to.
You see, they’re out to get me! The armadillos!
I sometimes spend all day in the dark closet hiding from armadillos.
How do can you truly be silly and not be fearful of armadillos?! I just don’t understand how you do it!
Waaaaiiit just a darn tootin’ second Ellen. How do I know you’re not an armadillo?
If you are one, it’s not going to end well for you …
I’m not scared. If you come near me, rrrRRRRrrr!!!! Die science toy!
Erk… I’m stuck. Help!
Okay, free. Now where was I?
Right… Dear Ellen…
I always admired your… AAAAHHHHH!!! It’s an armadillo!!! HELP!!!!
If I curl up and pretend to be an armadillo, maybe it’ll leave me alone!!
There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home…
AAAAAAHHHH!!!! HELP!!!! It’s got me!!! THE ARMADILLO!!!!!
Nooooooo!!!! I’m too young to die!! I’m not even 27!!!
Wait… I’m still alive! Where’d it go? Where is the armadillo?
Umm. Okay. Dear Ellen… I’m not only silly, but insane too. How do you cope with this?
I was imagining the armadillo. Is Ellen even real? Sleepy now.
Zzzzzzz….
Luna, the Little Chomper 
Hi Luna! You make my day every day. Do you have siblings? Do you think you could come to London to visit (stay)? Can I come to NYC and meet you? If I promise to rub your tummy and not disturb you when you are sleeping?
I’m NOT an armadillo. I’m not even from Texas! I’m from Michigan. I might be a wolverine, is that ok? I’m a nice one, defanged and declawed of course. I’m a vegetarian wolverine. I think we’d get along great!
PS – I had lots of visions of armadillos too. And badgers. But I found that scratching other people’s furniture, leaving hair everywhere, a healthy diet of fish, and laying off the catnip helped a lot.
I hope it works for you too!
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PPS – check out http://www.therunciblegoose.com You’ll see, NO armadillos!
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Dear Luna, I like your silliness, because sometimes I’m too serious. I used to be silly more often, but I have 4 dogs who are mostly old dogs and they don’t get silly much anymore, though they are always happy to see me when I come home, and they dance around at dinner time. They are surely better than armadillos. I don’t think they would like armadillos either. Anyway, I suppose not having a cat, I could stop by and see what you’re up to now and then. Thanks for making me smile.
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Yeah, it could have been worse. But I like dogs too. I grew up a dog person. I remember my little west highland white terrier, Pinky (named after his ears). I used to carry him around like a little football, and he always used to sniff my ear with his big black nose. I remember our last night together. Pinky was suffering so much, refusing to lie down. I leaned in to hug him, and there it was… the ear sniff, one last time 😦
Fortunately, Luna figured out I like the ear sniffs, so she picked up where he left off. :’)
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