WARNING: Do not actually try to do these exercises unless you are a cat.
Zzzz… Mrowr? I mean… What are you doing in my sunbeam?
Meow! I forgot! It’s time for my fitness class!
Rrrrr! Tell them I’m coming!
How could I sleep late? A lazy cat? Wonders never cease!
This is not my usual behavior. I’m a very responsible cat!
I think you’ll enjoy my fitness class, so thanks for showing up!
Purr!! I feel the energy flowing through my tail!
Can ya feel it?
Okay, let me just get ready. Give me a little privacy please.
This fitness class is getting posted on the Internet, so meow’s gotta look good!
Okay, first gotta clean this paw up.
Yeah. How’d that get so dirty. I mean, sunbeams aren’t dirty. *slurpslurp*
*slurpslurpslurp* *slurp* *slurp* *slurp* *slurp*
Rrrr? Oh, right, I have a fitness class to attend to.
My apologies for keeping you waiting!
I’ll clean up my leg right away.
*slurp* *slurp* *slurp* *slurp*
*slurp* *slurp* *slurp* *slurp*
Okay, all done.
Meet me at the sofa and we’ll start!
Oh, right, fitness class. Well, I was waiting a second or two for you and my assistant cuddled me and I fell asleep.
Perfectly understandable, right?
Now do you see how I’m stretching? I want you to start by folding yourself so your feet are touching your nose…
And then relax.
Close your eyes. Feel the stretch in your spine.
Now, I want you to stretch those feet more, so they’re alllll the way on top of your head.
You know you can do it. Don’t fight it. If you feel your spine is about to snap, you probably should stop.
Now lets work them paws…
OOOOooover the head, to your right.
And a one, and a two…
And three and four!
Now bring those legs both up to your forehead, like this.
Doesn’t it feel good?
Okay, now let your legs drop back down.
Breathe in, and breathe out, and relax. Purrrr.
Now I want you to find a partner.
Roll toward your belly while your partner twists you toward your other side.
Partners, now is not the time for belly rubs. Okay, just for a minute or two maybe.
Right, where were we? Oh, the other side!
Slowly shift your body so your feet are touching the other side of your face.
I hope it’s not hurting you guys. I think these exercises make sense for cats.
I’ve honestly never tried it on humans.
Humans are supposed to be smart and know better though, right?
Okay partners, get back to work!
Lay your back in your partner’s hands like this.
And relax. Purrr.
Now lift up your right paw.
Partner! Give that paw a good stretch!
Meow! Now we’re feeling it, right?
Partner! Now twist me from side to side and make me look goofy.
Don’t argue with me. It’s good for the circulation.
A-shake it to the left! A-shake it to the right!
And now curl up in a REALLY tiny ball! Final stretch!
And now for Luna’s end of post commentary:
Well, that routine always leaves me pooped. Thanks for joining my class! It’s usually quite disorganized when only cats show up. They just wander about and scratch up the gym mats.
I want to give a shout-out to everyone who I recently connected with through the “Meet & Greet”. If you haven’t heard of it, this wonderful WordPress blogger, Opinionated Man, every so often posts an invite for all other bloggers to leave a comment advertising their blogs, which also allows fellow bloggers to discover new blogs, and new online friends in the process.
I, a tiny cat, have already made well over a hundred new friends thanks to the latest Meet & Greet, and I can’t begin to describe all the wonderful blogs I’ve discovered and conversations I’ve already had. So if you’re coming from that crowd, welcome! And if not, feel free to check it out!
I’d also like to give a shout-out to:
Melissa Stroud, for her continued loyalty to such a goofy furball.
Annie Shepherd, for her blog marketing advice!
Dennis, for complimenting my eyes.
LaVancia Phoenix, for managing to keep in track of her own maniacal manic speed-demon.
AnnaM, for finding me a cool “cave bed” on Amazon.
JoAnne Silvia, for my first Dear Luna comment on WordPress. It was a scary one though, talking about four dogs, but they seem calmer than my neighbor’s goofy little wiener dog.
prisonedfreedom, for complimenting my modeling ability.
Dan Holliday, for giving credit where credit is due on my bad-ass jumping ability.
I’ll do shoutouts for other readers in future posts! Meow!