Meow.  I got the remotes right here.  Turn the TV back on.

Donald Trump is funny!  I haven’t laughed so hard all week.

What do you mean, you have to do work?

No more TV today?

No I don’t want to exercise.

What is a cat going to do with a pilates ring anyway?

Hey, come back here!

Rotten tuna, he’s ignoring me.  Now what am I going to do all day?

This is my favorite toy track.  A ball rolls around in it.

I don’t like exercise, so a little robot pushes the ball around for me.  It can be fun.

I’ll give it a shot.

Meow.  I think I killed it.

Another dead robot.

They just don’t build them like they used to.

I should go hang out near the window.

Maybe the birds will have some funny jokes.

Ah the warm sun.

So beautiful.

My sun will always be there for me.

Wait, I sense a dark spot.

A dark spot in *my* window.

Who does that spot think it is?

I’m not a spot.  I’m a spider.

I ain’t buggin’ you.  Just tryin’ to catch some lunch.

Oh good, I get treats when I help kill bugs.

They’ll squish you and then give me a treat.  Positive reinforcement works for me.

Oh, c’mon, furbag.  You must have something better to do.

Nope.

Then again, just go ahead and do it.

You’re so cute, and I’m so ugly.  There’s no point to my life.  It just sucks.

Purr.  I am awfully cute.

Tell you what, spider.  You get me some grub, and I’ll stay quiet.

But I don’t know what you want!

Tough fishies.  If you want to live, you’ll get me food.

Okay, okay.  I know for a fact that your human parents are not working.

They’re in the kitchen, making potato pancakes.  Just wait till the next bathroom break.

Did the spider just say what I think it did?

They’re hiding potato pancakes from me?

I was just bluffing, you know.  They usually don’t kill spiders.

But potato pancakes are super cool.  I owe ya one.

Don’t mention it!

Now I wait.

How long before this bathroom break will happen?

Hopefully it won’t be too long.

It’d be nice to eat these before they fill me up with cat food.

I hear something.

They’re taking a break.  They’re going outside.

This is it.  A proper plate of potato pancakes.  This could very well be the biggest munchie heist a cat has ever attempted.

Here I go.

Well, I’ll be sat on, it actually is a big pile of flattened potato.

I think I’ll start with a small, crispy one.

*munchmunchmunch*

This is unbelievably good.

Most humans don’t know that cats love potato pancakes.

We don’t advertise it, and normally, when humans tell other humans about their cat eating potato pancakes, it ranks right up there with dogs eating homework.

I hear them out chatting with neighbors.

Purr…

What do you mean, someone ate your potato pancakes?

There there.  Come in for a hug.  Luna will make it all better.

*HUG*

Purr! Purr!

If you’re hungry, I can open up a can of cat food for ya.

Want me to?  They might have potato-flavored.  No?

Well, I offered.  Look, I’m going to get some sleep now.

Wake me up when you wanna watch more TV.

Purrpurrpurrpurrrrrr….

ZZZZzzzz!