mew!  mew!  I love my pineapple so much.

Please don’t take my pineapple away from me!

No!  Give it back!

mew!  You cannot take away the pineapple I hold so near and dear to my heart!

Meow?  It’s a shoe, but for some reason, I was expecting a pineapple.

It was the gorilla dream again.  I know it.

This box will do.  I can use this box, right?

Excuse me while I hide in embarrassment.

*thud*

This is quite an unflattering position.  It makes me look fat.

But only because I’m flatter.  Wouldn’t that mean it IS flattering?

So, you want to hear the gorilla story, do you?

I’m going to need to borrow your smartphone.  For mood lighting.

Purr!

There once was a kitten … lost in the jungle.

The tiniest kitten that ever lived.

It would not last long in the dark, dangerous jungle.

“mew.  mew.  Where is my mommy?”, she cried out.

Alas, she was noticed, by a giant, angry gorilla.

This misplaced, little furball did not have much longer, and this was obvious to the gorilla.

The gorilla asked the kitten if she was hungry, and wanted food, offering a banana.

The largest banana a kitten has ever seen!

She cried out, in joy, “Pineapple!”

Yes, yes, your confusion isn’t lost on me.

I really wanted a pineapple instead.

Ever since then, I’ve had nightmares, reliving that very traumatic moment …

When I said I wanted a pineapple, and was given a banana.

I never did get to eat a pineapple.

Only so many opportunities come to a tiny kitten in her tiny lifetime …

… and pineapples are usually not among them.

I’m goin’ back to sleep.

I can’t believe I just told you the pineapple banana story.

It’s not something I’m proud of at all.

You’ll keep it to yourself, won’t ya?

You won’t, huh?  I know it’s a funny story, and you have to tell it.

Meow.  Be that way.  Tell the story.

Just know that we’re not friends anymore.  Not until I say otherwise.